The Real Reason I'm Afraid to Wear Kendra Scott
The Real Reason I’m Afraid to Wear Kendra Scott
Category: Girl Talk
Read time: 5 minutes
So two amazing things happened today.
One, I discovered that I could make a mock version of my FAVORITE Starbucks drink (a Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew) at work by simply mixing a shot of espresso, a cup of ice, a little bit of cold water, and two Coffee Mate Italian Sweet Creamers into a small styrofoam cup.
It was absolutely heavenly and I definitely just found my new 4-o-clock addiction.
The second amazing thing was that I wore my very first pair of Kendra Scott earrings. I bought them yesterday and they're absolutely lovely. Dangly, simple, and chic in a opal color. And I really really like them.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Kendra Scott, yada-yada, please tell us why this is such a big deal?"
To answer your question honestly, I was kind of afraid to physically walk into the store and purchase them
I had never been in a Kendra Scott before - nor have ever really wanted to. Before a couple of months ago, I couldn't fathom why anyone would pay that much money for a pair of earrings when you could get a really decent set from Charming Charlies for less than $20.
It wasn't until recently that I started to actually like Kendra Scott designs.
Therefore, I did what I did best when I find something I like that's too much money: I looked for dupes (aka knock-offs). I was 100% sure that I had seen super similar styles in stores like Francesca's, Forever 21, H&M, Express, etc. But weirdly enough each store I went to, I couldn't even find anything remotely close that would do the Kendra Scott look justice.
So slowly over time, it kind of became this thing in the back of my mind where I knew one day I would cave in and actually get the earrings.
What I wasn't expecting, was that the day would come so soon.
Over the summer, I found out that you can actually walk into a Kendra Scott and get any full price item you want for 50% off in your birthday month! Like whaaaat? I was shooketh and also super excited because my birthday was just around the corner.
Except when it finally came, things got real weird. For some reason, I kept pushing off actually going to Kendra Scott to pick up the earrings. Like literally, I would think about going by the store and getting the earrings and then would be like, "Nah...I'll get it later."
Can I be vulnerable with you guys?
I think the reason why I waited so long was because a part of me kind of feels like I don't deserve to wear them.
I don't come from a lot of money. My parents are Nigerian immigrants and although they did their best, there were still a lot of moments where we grew up with what seemed like not enough. Nonetheless, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, it taught me grit, faith, and to stay humble.
Either way, I still sometimes feel weird about buying things that used to be way out of my tax bracket, regardless of if I can purchase it now.
And then there's another thing. I'm going to be honest (and pls don't take offense) but every time I hear "Kendra Scott", I picture a glamorous white girl, heading to somewhere fabulous with her girlfriends in her Jimmy Choos and a trendy sundress.
Kind of like this:
And then there's me:
Do you see the dilemma?
Every time I thought about going to Kendra Scott to get the earrings, I imagined walking into the store and being stared down by everyone because they knew I didn't belong.
And it's so crazy because here I am --- a college graduate with a full time job in a career that I feel like is literally my calling and yet a part of me still feels like it's not enough.
For the longest, I've always felt like I have to prove myself and my worth, if not to someone else then to myself.
Thoughts constantly run through my head like ,"When I have a higher salary then I'll.."
"I just need a few more years into my corporate career, then I can..." or "
When I hit *this certain milestone* then I'll finally..."
And believe it or not, it gets really tiring to constantly chase after the next big milestone or thing.
Why do I constantly find myself yearning for the "next" and never really feeling like I'm enough where I am?
In high school, I just wanted to be in college.
In college, I just wanted to be in my career.
And now I'm in my career and I just want to be further in my career or have more money or have more prestige or whatever.
Why is it so hard to be content?
Like nobody stuck a sign on my forehead that said, "you don't deserve to be inside Kendra Scott". Nobody told me that I had to wait to hit a certain "tax bracket" before I could truly enjoy the fruits of my labor. And nobody told me that my certain situation should define my worth.
Yet it does.
And it seems like every time I truly want more, I'm telling God to take a backseat because then I'm striving for the next for myself and not for Him. For my personal fulfillment and not because He wants me there.
Because let's be honest, if I don't accomplish any of the dreams that I have set for my life, would my entire life be over?
Or more importantly,
Do I make my dreams, or do my dreams make me?
If all I'm living for is to strive and accomplish my goals, then when do I stop striving and actually enjoy the season that I'm in? When will it be enough?
The answer is it won't ever be.
My dreams and goals don't make me who I am - God does. And his everlasting love super-seeds any goal or dream that I have for myself. And as long as I realize that, then I can stop allowing these petty things define who I am and start being grateful in who God has created me to be.
And where He has placed me.
So yes, I'm excited to wear my very first pair of Kendra Scott earrings because for once I'm not looking where I could be or should be, but I'm focused on the now and all that God has blessed me with.
Humble and content,
Your Corporate Queen
Phillippians 4: 12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.