For the first time in a very long time, I don’t have any distractions.

It seems surreal, really. To realize that for the first time in a long time I have the one thing I always used to wish there was more of… time.

Time to write. To create. To share my soul and put words on paper that is usually cut short by the need to go to bed, the meetings/events I attend, and other responsibilities calling my name that seem more important in the moment than my journal-turned-blog.

And of course, some people would say that if this blog was important to me then I would always make time to create. And maybe this is a bad blog post to read if you’re neck deep in your passion and are used to cranking it out no matter rain or shine. But for me, I’m still learning how to balance both of my worlds, which means that choosing what I’m willing to sacrifice is difficult.

Writing isn’t just putting my fingers to the keyboard and typing. It’s an art. It’s a thought that is tossed and turned in the mind until it finds a home where it can walk around and be explored. Where it can be stretched and twisted and made into coherent sentences that challenge and make people think.

It takes time and focus, which, if we’re going to be honest, is hard for me to manage.

I would describe myself as a creative soul with a warm spirit. It’s a gift from God that I’m really thankful for, but also means that I’m naturally drawn towards creating memories with people. It’s rare to find me at home by myself for long periods of time… not because I don’t like being alone, but because I genuinely like being with others. I enjoy the warm buzz that I get after having a good belly laugh. I enjoy letting my friends drag me to sushi places I would’ve never tried or fun brunch spots I normally drive past. I enjoy spending time with people who have shared interest, where we sit and dive deep into topics that nobody else would care about. And I enjoy taking time to celebrate each pocket of my community.

Of course, I still do genuinely being by myself. I like solo car rides with my windows down and the sun shining in as I loudly sing to songs nobody can judge me for. I like perusing through luxury furniture stores, thinking about all of the pieces I’ll one day be able to buy. I like going to Boba shops and checking out movies that interest me and no one else.

The point is, when I’m in the office for 40+ hours a week, sometimes the last thing I want to do is spend another 10 hours in my apartment typing away. Thus, it becomes almost too easy to be distracted.

But for the first time in a long time, there are no distractions. Time is something I have plenty of, which means that I can equally enjoy the company of the creation of others while still feeling rejuvenated and rested enough to write.

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I don’t think I’ve rested in a long time… and I don’t only mean physically. I mean mentally. I didn’t realize how much energy and time I spent feeling guilty about not using my time productively. Anytime I would catch myself out with my friends, scrolling Instagram, or watching YouTube for too long, I’d get so upset with myself.

You should be creating, Mandu, I’d think, and then spend the next few moment in emotional turmoil because I wasn’t creating when I knew I should be but couldn’t because of the pressure of inspiration I was looking for.

I know that basing your creative inspiration on motivation is a big no-no. But I once was listening to this podcast where this content creator fully embraced it, and I’ve never felt so seen.

I think for a while now, I haven’t truly been inspired. But for the first time in a long time, with no barriers holding me back, I can allow it happen. Because now I have the thing that I was missing and that you can really never get back: time. To explore what others are creating and be inspired again to start creating of my own. To come up with new topics and ideas that I want to share. To not be pressured by the demands of the outside world and really sink into what God needs me to serve. And to really just reset and remember why I create.

And it’s been absolutely wonderful.

I do say this lightly, because in no way am I trying to take away from the fact that this pandemic is genuinely hurting people and causing so much turmoil around the world.

But it is so inspiring to still see people creating. To see them get so creative.

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It’s been awesome being able to roll out of bed at 9am and get started on my actual job, and spend breaks in the middle pounding out content. It’s been great after spending 2 hrs writing, sliding on my super comfy couch and enjoying a movie or two. Or taking time to watch a home tour and then getting inspired to write a post about cozy office nooks.

It’s been grand. And I’m so thankful for it.

All of this time has inspired me to want to write and to post and talk and express. Because for the longest time I felt so scared that I would be insensitive – but the most refreshing thing about this entire coronavirus pandemic, is being able to take a mental break from it.

And a lot of these creators, that have been disregarded and bashed and banned in the past for not having a real job, are giving people mental escapes. And I personally think it’s wonderful. Marvelous, actually. That in a time where people feel hopeless, you continuing with your creation can give hope.

So, with that being said – I’m going to continue to take full advantage of these moments without barriers. So be on the lookout for a lot of content – and I hope that I can serve as that mental escape for you as well.

With love,
The Corporate Queen